Boundaries
Internal, External, and Why They Matter
Boundaries are not about pushing people away, they are about recognising where you end and someone else begins. For many of us, boundary-setting feels unfamiliar or uncomfortable, especially if we learned early on that our needs weren’t prioritised or welcomed. Boundaries are how we honour our emotional landscape, protect our energy, and maintain a sense of self in relationships. They allow us to stay connected without becoming overwhelmed, overextended, or resentful.
Five things healthy boundaries help us reclaim:
Clarity — knowing what you need and what doesn’t feel okay.
Emotional safety — staying connected without abandoning yourself.
Energy — protecting your time, capacity, and wellbeing.
Self-respect — honouring your values, limits, and inner voice.
Balanced relationships — creating mutual responsibility, not one-sided effort.
There are two broad types of boundaries: internal and external. Internal boundaries are the quiet, powerful limits we hold with ourselves, reminding us that someone else’s emotions are not ours to fix, or that we don’t have to respond immediately just because someone wants us to. External boundaries are expressed through words and actions: “I’m not available tonight,” “I need more time,” or “That doesn’t work for me.” Both forms of boundaries are acts of self-trust. They help us stay grounded in who we are while still remaining open to connection.
“Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” — Prentis Hemphill
Learning to set boundaries is less about perfect phrasing and more about strengthening your relationship with yourself. It is the practice of choosing honesty over appeasement, clarity over confusion, and self-respect over self-abandonment. Boundaries won’t remove discomfort, but they will create relationships that feel safer, more balanced, and more authentic. And like any skill, they become easier with practice, one small decision, one moment of clarity, one self-honouring step at a time.